Friday, January 30, 2009
history is totally cool
When I was little, and went to school, I didn't give a shit. NOW, I do....
History is AWESOME now, I read up on shit all the time. I read up on Norwegian history, cus I'm from Norway, I read up on Spanish and Peruvian, cus I'm from there too, then I read up on places I'm not from at all, all of them, systematically, I want to know everything!
But then i also know, that all written history - is just that: Some dude (usually, most likely a dude.) wrote this. Not only once, but like a billion times over, in tons of languages, and in many different ways of expressing something.
This is especially problematic in Norwegian history, where you dont have to go very far back, before a lot becomes guesswork, and you have to look at drunken songs in order to reveal actual history.
If a drunken song is your ONLY source for an important battle, you know for sure took place, and the song goes on about "tens of thousands of men", what do you then write into the history book?
Such numbers have indeed been used in old sources, but the population of Scandinavia as a whole, at the time, would rarely allow for such armies to gather, its likely no such armies were raised untill at least well after the medieval era was over.
The only refuge against very "uncertain" history, somehow, at least for me, becomes to go further back, to when everything inevitably becomes uncertain by default.
My city name for example, Trondheim, both roots Trond and Heim are ancient. Heim means home, and Trond is a tribal name.
The interesting part is this: the region has ALWAYS been "Trondheim", even after we forgot who the "Trond" or "Trønder" was, even the vikings had probably forgotten, but they also used the same names. Same goes for Rogaland and Hordaland, of the Roga and Hordar. Estimates put the "activity" of these tribal kingdoms several thousand years back.
The "Dane" of Denmark, whos ancient name was "Daneland", is also of unknown ancient tribal origin. Nobody knows who the "Dane" originally was, except that they were, along with the Tronds, Rogar, Hordar, Svear and Götar, they were pre-nordic germanic tribes, who quite possible had the exact same language at this time, its possible that they did not even have had the time to develop regional dialects, as these became apparent as late as the viking age.
History is AWESOME now, I read up on shit all the time. I read up on Norwegian history, cus I'm from Norway, I read up on Spanish and Peruvian, cus I'm from there too, then I read up on places I'm not from at all, all of them, systematically, I want to know everything!
But then i also know, that all written history - is just that: Some dude (usually, most likely a dude.) wrote this. Not only once, but like a billion times over, in tons of languages, and in many different ways of expressing something.
This is especially problematic in Norwegian history, where you dont have to go very far back, before a lot becomes guesswork, and you have to look at drunken songs in order to reveal actual history.
If a drunken song is your ONLY source for an important battle, you know for sure took place, and the song goes on about "tens of thousands of men", what do you then write into the history book?
Such numbers have indeed been used in old sources, but the population of Scandinavia as a whole, at the time, would rarely allow for such armies to gather, its likely no such armies were raised untill at least well after the medieval era was over.
The only refuge against very "uncertain" history, somehow, at least for me, becomes to go further back, to when everything inevitably becomes uncertain by default.
My city name for example, Trondheim, both roots Trond and Heim are ancient. Heim means home, and Trond is a tribal name.
The interesting part is this: the region has ALWAYS been "Trondheim", even after we forgot who the "Trond" or "Trønder" was, even the vikings had probably forgotten, but they also used the same names. Same goes for Rogaland and Hordaland, of the Roga and Hordar. Estimates put the "activity" of these tribal kingdoms several thousand years back.
The "Dane" of Denmark, whos ancient name was "Daneland", is also of unknown ancient tribal origin. Nobody knows who the "Dane" originally was, except that they were, along with the Tronds, Rogar, Hordar, Svear and Götar, they were pre-nordic germanic tribes, who quite possible had the exact same language at this time, its possible that they did not even have had the time to develop regional dialects, as these became apparent as late as the viking age.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
gotham by gaslight, SPIC part 3
gotham by gaslight by brian augustyn/mike mignola
we all know dr. thomas and martha were gunned down before their little boy bruce and he grows up living a life of wealth and privledge. then he puts on a fancy suit and becomes batman so that tragedy never happens to anyone else again. what if that happened in the late 1800s? bruce returns to gotham after a grand tour (obviously, training in combat, studing deduction, etc) and cannot wait to do some real good in the gotham's streets, as the dark knight. he does great work, twarting dynamite wielding safe crackers, muggers, the whole criminal element and the newpapers make note of the giant bat haunting the city. the one thing batman misses is jack the ripper returning to public life in 1889 gotham. the police are under tremendous public pressure to find the ripper and put him away. they find some evidence on their prime suspect, bruce wayne. while searching wayne manor they find a bloody knife, how they missed if you set the grandfather clock in the study to exactly midnight/noon the door to the batcave opens up. bruce is put to trial with the shakiest of evidence like a gin-soaked, crazy cat lady and coinsidence as evidence from D.A. harvey dent. despite console from bruce's beloved "uncle" jake bruce is convicted of being jack the ripper. the only people who belive he is innocent is his butler, alfread pennyworth, and inspector james gordon. from his cell bruce gathers what evidence and clues he can be fed from his friend gordon, newspaper clippings, "ripper" letters, photographs, whatever. all that bruce can conclude is the gotham murders are being committed by the same individual in the whitechapel murders, one year ago. in passing looking at a picture of his father's cival war medical detatchment he notices the flag for the unit has the same symbol on the murder weapon. now bruce has his own short list of suspects. he has alfread easily break him out fo jail (way to go G.C.P.D. letting your biggest convict practically walk out...). batman is on the streets and just in time to stop the ripper from murdering another "unfortunate" woman. a chase through the pooered areas of gotham ensues. watching batman chase him down, swining on ropes while avoiding hansome cabs is a real treat. nothing is more "batman" than him flying out of the mike mignola darkness. the chase ends with batman calling out jack the ripper at the cementary. the big reveal is how "uncle" jake is really the ripper. turns out he was always in love with martha, bruce's mother. when he confesses his love to her, she laughs and mocks him. the heartache breaks his mind. he grows paranoid. pychotically so. to him, thomas, his friend from the war, who helped him in getting into high society and a career. even their little brat of a son, bruce was in on the joke. so he had a theif assasinate the family. or as much of the family he could. martha's laughing never stopped. batman takes off his cowl and tells him he is not laughing. at this point, crackerjack gotham PD shows up to save the day, ie take batman and the ripper to jail. jake does not go quietly and takes out a knife and swipes at batman, hoping to take him down in a blaze of glory. gordon is there and shoots him in mid-swing, giving bruce only a flesh wound. jake dies and gordon lets batman run off to fight crime another day.
this only gets 3 brass cogs. batman DOES have his utility belt. that is worth 3 cogs, right?
bonus points for a cameo from this world's joker.
boycott all mass media (not really)
Just hate it with me. Not all of it of course, but the vast majority of it. Most of it. Let's say.. 99,9987% of it.
I hate movies, series, games (and people) i haven't yet gotten to known. I am more than happy to prejudge something. In a videostore, i judge movies by their cover.
"You can't judge a book/movie by its cover!" yes you idiot, you can! example!
This is clearly a low-budget movie, who cares about budget. Budget only counts if you are hoping for huge visual effects. We will get to the lack of good visual effects in some other blog, i have a "hen to pluck" with the gelatinous crap excuse for lava in the "Return of the King" movie.
It shows the main characters actors name, at the top, while the director takes a step back, and hides underneath the movie title. Message: "We spent very little money on this movie, cus the best stories take place in normal real life." The title is purely symbolic, there aren't 7 virgins in this movie, in fact, there are no virgins at all as i recall. This movie does what movies rarely do: They make your ordinary drama realistic enough to "fall" for it. If a man chases you with a knife in real life, you shit yourself, if a man chases another man w a knife in a movie, you wait for the special effects explosions, UNLESS - its REALLY believable, and you actually expect the knife man to kill his fellow actor.
This movie, like many euro movies, stay more slow and realistic, but capture the viewer - on a personal level - more than special-effects-ridden movies ever hope to do.
This is another example, but American, so not to pit euro against american when it comes to pop-culture styles (even tho the reality often IS euro vs american..). Again, it gives the same message. In this case, not even the director or actors names are on the cover, only 3 smiling indians, and a very general title "Smoke Signals" that tell you absolutely nothing of the story. There are no smoke signals in the movie. Its about people, its a story. Its a very good movie.
THIS is a glaring example of stupidity at first glance. "But, its SUPPOSED to be stupid! Duuh!" shut up you imbecile. The title letters, big and cartoony. If i want cartoons, im paying 45 krones for a comic book, that will actually contain some quality, not 350 or whatever, for this piece of shit DVD.
Two hot chicks in the background. Wow. I got internet porn. Two dressed chicks as well, i guess these would be the conflicting babes vs nerds or something. I've actually seen this movie, but my mind has blocked all memories of it. Look, a doggie, i bet the dog provides funny scenes, in the shape of well trained little actions by the innocent little actor-doggie.
what can i say... "No, he's not, you retard. He's an actor, and a poor one at that." Okay, the good movie also sported the actor's name, but theres a difference: the good movie uses a completely unknown actor, he deserves some fame. HARRISON FORD is well known, its not necesary to beef up the letters to that size, they knew, but still they did it.
"is the President of the United States."
WHY do they write that? First sign of a crap movie, is one that - from BEFORE you even watch - treat you like a retard.
"Here, allow me to help you, you stupid stupid person: Harrison ford is president of usa in this movie. air force one is, as you may know, the presidential flight. This movie is about the president, and his flight, and the perils that may occur during this flight."
Idiots.
The LETTERS show: "HARRISON FORD" and "AIR FORCE ONE", the IMAGES show: HARRISON FORD, and AIR FORCE ONE. Just in case your too stupid to figure out wether or not you wanna watch it yet.
(Don't watch it, here, i'll gladly ruin it for you: The president makes it at the end, the bad guy (some east-german or something, played by Gary Oldman) is thrown off the airplane, to Harrison Ford's painfully awkward: "Get out of my plane!!")
I may be an extremist on this field, if it was up to me, Hollywood would be reduced to knitting socks, for all eternity. But don't get me wrong, its not ALL Hollywood, but anywhere that culture gets mass-produced, for example "Bollywood", trillions of movies, all united by ridiculous dance-and-sing scenes, that we all know, are less than realistic.
I can't wait for the sing-and-dance scenes in this one.
Or this one.
I havent seen any of these movies, but i know they both got traditional sing-and-dance scenes. How charming!
I've yet to catch a "Nollywood" movie (go look it up, you ignoramus!)
but in the spirit of avoiding all lame-ass mass media, at the best of my effort, I am in no hurry.
My point is, MOST media today falls into the stupid-ass category. Avoid most media.
Now im gonna go watch tv.
See, here's the thing: I'm smart enough to withstand the enormous stupidity thrown at me from tv and other media. ARE YOUUUUUU????
I hate movies, series, games (and people) i haven't yet gotten to known. I am more than happy to prejudge something. In a videostore, i judge movies by their cover.
"You can't judge a book/movie by its cover!" yes you idiot, you can! example!
This is clearly a low-budget movie, who cares about budget. Budget only counts if you are hoping for huge visual effects. We will get to the lack of good visual effects in some other blog, i have a "hen to pluck" with the gelatinous crap excuse for lava in the "Return of the King" movie.
It shows the main characters actors name, at the top, while the director takes a step back, and hides underneath the movie title. Message: "We spent very little money on this movie, cus the best stories take place in normal real life." The title is purely symbolic, there aren't 7 virgins in this movie, in fact, there are no virgins at all as i recall. This movie does what movies rarely do: They make your ordinary drama realistic enough to "fall" for it. If a man chases you with a knife in real life, you shit yourself, if a man chases another man w a knife in a movie, you wait for the special effects explosions, UNLESS - its REALLY believable, and you actually expect the knife man to kill his fellow actor.
This movie, like many euro movies, stay more slow and realistic, but capture the viewer - on a personal level - more than special-effects-ridden movies ever hope to do.
This is another example, but American, so not to pit euro against american when it comes to pop-culture styles (even tho the reality often IS euro vs american..). Again, it gives the same message. In this case, not even the director or actors names are on the cover, only 3 smiling indians, and a very general title "Smoke Signals" that tell you absolutely nothing of the story. There are no smoke signals in the movie. Its about people, its a story. Its a very good movie.
THIS is a glaring example of stupidity at first glance. "But, its SUPPOSED to be stupid! Duuh!" shut up you imbecile. The title letters, big and cartoony. If i want cartoons, im paying 45 krones for a comic book, that will actually contain some quality, not 350 or whatever, for this piece of shit DVD.
Two hot chicks in the background. Wow. I got internet porn. Two dressed chicks as well, i guess these would be the conflicting babes vs nerds or something. I've actually seen this movie, but my mind has blocked all memories of it. Look, a doggie, i bet the dog provides funny scenes, in the shape of well trained little actions by the innocent little actor-doggie.
what can i say... "No, he's not, you retard. He's an actor, and a poor one at that." Okay, the good movie also sported the actor's name, but theres a difference: the good movie uses a completely unknown actor, he deserves some fame. HARRISON FORD is well known, its not necesary to beef up the letters to that size, they knew, but still they did it.
"is the President of the United States."
WHY do they write that? First sign of a crap movie, is one that - from BEFORE you even watch - treat you like a retard.
"Here, allow me to help you, you stupid stupid person: Harrison ford is president of usa in this movie. air force one is, as you may know, the presidential flight. This movie is about the president, and his flight, and the perils that may occur during this flight."
Idiots.
The LETTERS show: "HARRISON FORD" and "AIR FORCE ONE", the IMAGES show: HARRISON FORD, and AIR FORCE ONE. Just in case your too stupid to figure out wether or not you wanna watch it yet.
(Don't watch it, here, i'll gladly ruin it for you: The president makes it at the end, the bad guy (some east-german or something, played by Gary Oldman) is thrown off the airplane, to Harrison Ford's painfully awkward: "Get out of my plane!!")
I may be an extremist on this field, if it was up to me, Hollywood would be reduced to knitting socks, for all eternity. But don't get me wrong, its not ALL Hollywood, but anywhere that culture gets mass-produced, for example "Bollywood", trillions of movies, all united by ridiculous dance-and-sing scenes, that we all know, are less than realistic.
I can't wait for the sing-and-dance scenes in this one.
Or this one. I havent seen any of these movies, but i know they both got traditional sing-and-dance scenes. How charming!
I've yet to catch a "Nollywood" movie (go look it up, you ignoramus!)
but in the spirit of avoiding all lame-ass mass media, at the best of my effort, I am in no hurry.
My point is, MOST media today falls into the stupid-ass category. Avoid most media.
Now im gonna go watch tv.
See, here's the thing: I'm smart enough to withstand the enormous stupidity thrown at me from tv and other media. ARE YOUUUUUU????
Saturday, January 17, 2009
steampunk in comics part 2, league of extraordinary gentlemen vol. 2
the league of extraordinary gentlemen by alan moore/kevin o'neill.
well then. last we left our party of heros there were funny lights on mars. in reality they were the muzzle flash of escape pods from mars. seems these martians (turns out there are several sorts and even 2 humans, one uses a flying carpet, seriously) got their ass handed to them in a war and are now looking for a new home. one with less resistance. hey how about earth, it is right there and such. giant bullets the size of buildings land across england so what happens? people go and gawk at the damned thing that fell from the sky. a door opens up and out slithers a slimey martian, looks like a giant brain, with tentacles, a beak, and giant black eyes. maybe the martians are bad mother fuckers, maybe they got sick of being watched like monkey at the zoo, or maybe they planned it all along; they attack. their cyclopean, heat ray weapon simpley waves past the crowd and they all catch on fire. men, women, childen, dogs. everything. the league standing a safe distance away take cover and they still get singed. hyde goes into one of his epic rages and wants nothing less than to eat the brains of the martians and shit down the hole he would make in their faces. they make a tactical retreat to the bleak house inn nearby to observe the alien invaders. that night they hunker down and watch the army engage the enemy. they are promptly fried to oblivion. and hawley griffin is revealed to have snuck out the house to parley with the martians. while they cannot see him, he communicates with them with figures drawn in the sand. a plot. to take over the world. the knave! the next morning, the martians obliterate bleak house and the league take a coach back to headquarters in london. on they way they see refugees. who ever heard of such a thing in england? they take a meeting with the new M, mycroft holmes. yes, the brother of THAT holmes. counter-attack plans are hatched. mina stays at HQ and studies everything they have on mars while the rest go back to spy on the martians. as they make idle conversation the coach stop. a martian tripod is set on them and stomps on them, like an AT-AT in star wars.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
steampunk in comics, part 1 League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.
welcome to steampunk in comics week! what the hell is steampunk you might ask? somesort of really angry punk rocker with steam coming out of his ears. not at all. technically i would call it a sub-genre of science-fiction that is a reaction to cyberpunk, another sub-genre of science-fiction that has a setting of neo-victorian, retro-futurism. basically, what if the computer age started 100 years before the creation of the silicon transistor. there are difference engines (mechanical computers) in every office building, your next door nieghbor is an inventor of steam-powered cars and you travel across long distances in airships. and everyone wears goggles. how i got into steampunk were a few comics 5 or 6 years ago; only now am i realizing steampunk is more than just a litterary movement, but now involves an underground music scene and its own fashion. now that is out of the way, let me start at the begining. at least for me.
the league of extraordinary gentlemen by alan moore & kevin o'neill.
i love victorian literature. there is everything from the best deductive detectives, vampires, flesh golems, white rabbits, invisble men, amoral dandies, and submarines. what if they all met? had adventures? and used clockwork machine pistols? sign me up! from the first page you know this is a fantastical place. a wide shot of a bridge from dover, england to end in france. looks every bit the typical superhighway construction project of today, except these cranes are powered by steam. so we start with wilhelmina murray, last seen fighting count dracula in transylvania, set by a government agent to put together a special team to resolve a special problem. god save the queen! next stop, egypt. mina ends up in a shitty, dive opium den to find allan quartermain. man is this going to be bad. he is too old, past his prime and sucking too well on the devil's dick. however he still has that killer instict and shoots some of the crazed mob intent on raping our dear, poor mina. the outrage! the tragedy! the escape to the docks where they get re-enforcements from captain nemo. no, not the disney version. this is the sikh, british hating, science pirate. did i mention he has a nuclear powered submarine? so he takes out an automatic harpoon gun and watses the mob chasing our heros. now for a quick trip under the sea to paris. something about murders in the rue morgue. not again :(
Nintendo planning friendlier approach to game difficulty
http://videogames.yahoo.com/feature/nintendo-planning-friendlier-approach-to-game-difficulty/1278610 
I think this is a fantastic idea.
We've all used game guides, gamefaqs and Game Genie/ Game Shark to skip levels.
We all have friends and relatives who refuse to play video games based solely on the idea that they're "too hard". They pick up a game like 'Zelda: Twilight Princess' because everyone tells them how awesome Zelda games are, and then they want to smash their controllers when they can't figure out where to find the boomerang... or how to find a key.... etc... and then they just STOP playing the game altogether out of frustration.
Well, now they don't have to! Now everyone can play.
I seem to be the only one who likes the idea however... everyone in the IMCML community seems to be completely enraged at the idea:
http://www.ironmanchangedmylife.com/forum/index.php?topic=225.0
I don't see a problem. Nintendo are geniuses. They know what the deal is.
"The days of getting stuck in games could be gone altogether, if a patent filed recently by Nintendo comes to fruition.
Nintendo's idea, made public in a patent application this week, hinges on making demonstration videos available to players while they're playing the game, either as a thumbnail view or a full-screen animation. Players could interrupt the demonstration at any point, taking control back to continue playing without assistance. Think of it as a tutorial guide that lasts throughout the entire game.
It also proposes to let players start playing at any point during a game -- a feature that's in many games already, but typically only unlocked once a player has already completed those levels. Just like skimming a newspaper article for the juicy bits, this would allow players to tackle games, in their entirety, at their own whim."
I think this is a fantastic idea.
We've all used game guides, gamefaqs and Game Genie/ Game Shark to skip levels.
We all have friends and relatives who refuse to play video games based solely on the idea that they're "too hard". They pick up a game like 'Zelda: Twilight Princess' because everyone tells them how awesome Zelda games are, and then they want to smash their controllers when they can't figure out where to find the boomerang... or how to find a key.... etc... and then they just STOP playing the game altogether out of frustration.
Well, now they don't have to! Now everyone can play.
I seem to be the only one who likes the idea however... everyone in the IMCML community seems to be completely enraged at the idea:
http://www.ironmanchangedmylife.com/forum/index.php?topic=225.0
I don't see a problem. Nintendo are geniuses. They know what the deal is.
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