steampunk in comics part 2, league of extraordinary gentlemen vol. 2

the league of extraordinary gentlemen by alan moore/kevin o'neill.

well then. last we left our party of heros there were funny lights on mars. in reality they were the muzzle flash of escape pods from mars. seems these martians (turns out there are several sorts and even 2 humans, one uses a flying carpet, seriously) got their ass handed to them in a war and are now looking for a new home. one with less resistance. hey how about earth, it is right there and such. giant bullets the size of buildings land across england so what happens? people go and gawk at the damned thing that fell from the sky. a door opens up and out slithers a slimey martian, looks like a giant brain, with tentacles, a beak, and giant black eyes. maybe the martians are bad mother fuckers, maybe they got sick of being watched like monkey at the zoo, or maybe they planned it all along; they attack. their cyclopean, heat ray weapon simpley waves past the crowd and they all catch on fire. men, women, childen, dogs. everything. the league standing a safe distance away take cover and they still get singed. hyde goes into one of his epic rages and wants nothing less than to eat the brains of the martians and shit down the hole he would make in their faces. they make a tactical retreat to the bleak house inn nearby to observe the alien invaders. that night they hunker down and watch the army engage the enemy. they are promptly fried to oblivion. and hawley griffin is revealed to have snuck out the house to parley with the martians. while they cannot see him, he communicates with them with figures drawn in the sand. a plot. to take over the world. the knave! the next morning, the martians obliterate bleak house and the league take a coach back to headquarters in london. on they way they see refugees. who ever heard of such a thing in england? they take a meeting with the new M, mycroft holmes. yes, the brother of THAT holmes. counter-attack plans are hatched. mina stays at HQ and studies everything they have on mars while the rest go back to spy on the martians. as they make idle conversation the coach stop. a martian tripod is set on them and stomps on them, like an AT-AT in star wars.



back at hq, mina is assaulted by griffin. even kicks her in the stomach till she vomits, slams her face in her own puke, and made to say "im a stuck up little tart" one of the most disturbing scenes in the whole series. he also nabs maps showing all british gun placements. the boys return and find mina beaten. hyde is pissed. fucking pissed. after a spot of tea, mina is alright. M splits the team in half, their headquarters is compromised and he devices a plan. nemo and hyde take to the nautalist in london while quartermain and mina are sent to find a weapon to defeat the martians. the next day, a tripod attacks a train bridge but nemo and the nautalist manage to blow it up with cannon fire. there is only one survivor from the train, james grey. fascinated by the sub, he promises nemo he will build one of his own.
mina and alan are looking for this secret weapon in a field in the south of england, when they approach a forest they meet teddy prendrick, he is, like, a crazy person, who tells them about a devil doctor who was thought to have died on his island, but it was a cover up by champion bond. he warns them of the doctor's people, how they walk on all fours and scavenge for food. but up close, they are animals. and he runs off, like a crazy person. as they enter the woods, alan, the great white hunter, swears they are being watched, possibley stalked by some big game. lions, tigers,bears. something. that is impossible, this is england afterall.
london is on fire from tripods, too far inland for the nautalist to do any damage. more people flee london.
mina and alan find an inn and spend the night. alan bitches that he hates when they check in undercover as a married couple mina gets the bed and alan gets the floor. mina calls poppycock and invites to her bed. alan, a little self conscience over their age difference and mina tells him how she read ALL about him when she was young. convinced of her intentions they screw. real steamy.
the next morning hyde dresses and steps on the top deck to find the sub, mired by a red weed that has congealed the river thames. i wonder where those pesky martians got the idea of doing something to the river. that rat bastard griffin! mina and alan continue thier search for the doctor and his weapon. once again alan gets that feeling of being watched. mina does not really notice, she just gets horny again and they go at it, propped up against a tree. unfortunately, they are interrupted by a bear dressed in human clothing, and then a tiger, and even an elephant and a badger. what the hell is this? wind in the willows? they tell the duo they are going to take them to the doctor themselves. hye takes a coach back to the leagues museum headquarters. in a drawing room, he sits down to read the paper and enjoy himself. he then mentions he can see griffin in the very room. that griffin is only being quiet and that griffin thinks hyde is bluffing. "but im not, griffin. i promise you im not. you have my word has a gentlemen."
griffin cries foul as hyde begins to beat him and then rape him. as he whistles a jolly tune. mina is avenged.

back to the woods of anamorphic tour guides....
while the rest are roughly human sized, they now meet a toad, wearing a tiny toad-sized suit, driving a automobile. holy shit, this IS the wind in willows. he guides them the rest of the way to meet alphonse moreau, M.D. he has a hut in the middle of these woods, surrounded by his "children". pig-men, baboon butler, giraffe guy, mice men, a lady gander, a cat wearing only boots, a mad hare, and god knows what else he has cooked up. dr. moreau explains how he was relocated to these woods and continues his experiments in creating these hybrids. the duo tell the doctor they need h142, as per champion bond. lickedly split, he gets right on top of getting them whatever h-142 is.
hyde has nemo and their coachmen over for dinner in the museum. dinner conversations turns to why dr. jekyell has not been around.. right around since the martians popped up. hyde insists if he was around, he would probably get them both killed on account of him being a pussy, a good laugh is had by all (actually, just hyde) and spot apears on hydesshirt. a red one. it starts to grow, and miraculously on the table cloth, the room, everything. hyde says it must be griffin's blood and he is in the other room. i guess invisible men turn visible when they die. an army of tripods marches on london and only have to cross a bridge over the thames to wreck new carnage.
mina, alan, and dr. moreau wait for a military train to take h-142 to london. they load the crate containing the creature and off the duo leave as well, pondering what could it be. maybe a dragon or who knows really. champion meets them in london and asks if the container was damaged. when verified it is fine, bond orders his soldiers not to shoot them. how very strange. bond, visibly nervous, sweaty, and uncomfortable tells alan and mina h-142 is being made ready for transport to the martians and that everything is under control now. the league reforms in whole as they watch the bridge with all the tripods on the other side. h-142 is not ready yet for delivery by cannon (wut?) and they need to buy some time. hyde decides it is up to him, he shares his feelings for mina to her and have one the sweetest moments ever. he walks across the bridge, twirling a cane and humming to face martian tripods. they burn him down with a heat ray, but is that going to stop him?
i think not. he grabs breaks the leg off a tripod and bashes it in the cockpit, punches thru the windshield and greets the martian with "hello old chap. hello. welcome to england" and eats him. i am sure hyde is not minding the horrid taste anyways. the rest of the tripods panic and all heat ray hyde and the wreck of the fallen tripod. now that does down hyde. a hero perishes, but the bridge is blocked and the martians are stuck on the other side. perfect timing as british cannons fire h-142 at the tripods. mina asks bond exactly what kind of hybrid that was. anthrax and streptococcus. germ warfare in 1898. bond tells the lague how the cover up will go down. the common cold killed the martians and anyone people still in south london ( not everyone got out ) were killed by the martians. nemo is furious over the idea of germ warfare and its indiscriminate use on people and quits the league, vowing that as soon as he can clear a path for the nautalist thru the red weed he return to his family and to never be called upon by them again.
that fall at a park named after hyde, mina breaks up with alan.
the real steamy highlights of the book are seeing the nautalist in all its glory. you have tentacles grabbing people out of the water, salvaging martian technology, using retractable cannons, and cabins more luxurious than anything in her majesty's navy. no real point in machine pistols against a tripod, but a nuclear submarine, yea that can do some damage.the army still wears pit helmets and goggles and did i mention the engineered virus that killed the martians? while it had less steampunk elements, it just went hardcore with victorian literarry elements, what is had was ginormously steampunk. also, int he back there are directions on making your own origami nautalist. awesome. oh and a board game you can play with your friends and some dice. plays kind of like "life".

i give it 7 brass cogs.