X-Men Origins: Wolverine spoilers (also titled: "why this movie sucks")

X-Men Origins: Wolverine spoilers (also titled: "why this movie sucks")


SPOILERS


The first half hour is stupid. Wolverine pretty much just stands around while everyone he loves/cares about is getting killed because he's a pussy and he doesn't want to fight/kill anyone.

So halfway in, he finally gets angry and starts killing people, starting with an asian sharpshooter dude, I'm not sure who he was. The movie gets kind of cool at that point, but I put emphasis on "kind of", because there are sooo many things wrong with this movie....

First of all... the Blob and Emma Frost are each in it for about 5 minutes each... lame. Gambit is in it for maybe 10 minutes. Cyclops is in it for 5. They're not important to the plot and seem to have just been stuck into the movie to make the trailer seem cool. The majority of the movie is actually Wolverine being hunted by Stryker and Sabretooth. They are the main villains. And all other characters are completely secondary.

The worst part is Deadpool....what the fucking fuck? He's in the beginning of the movie for like..10 minutes and then he's "killed".... turns out he's actually being transformed into weapon XI, after which point he returns for 5 minutes again at the end of the film. Wolverine decapitates him, so say "goodbye" to a Deadpool spinoff (unless it's a prequel).....a prequel to a prequel....hfswtf? (holy fucking shit, what the fuck?)

Hold onto your hats folks, it gets stupider....

Sabretooth is now officially Wolverines brother (they have the same father, the mother/mothers is/are never discussed). They changed Wolverines name from "James Howlett" to "James Logan" And get this... Wolverine actually GIVES CONSENT to becoming Weapon X.

Stryker: "Hey, Wolvie....do you want adamantium in your bones so you can fuck shit up...."
Wolverine: "Okay!"

Patrick Stewart is in it for about 20 seconds at the end.

Fuck.

This.

Movie.


/endrant